Ugh...

I'm so sick of being like this.
I'm sick of being nervous and anxious about Everything.
It's so ridiculous...and stressful.

Yes I'm like every other teenager, I hate school.
But I've missed 4 out of 5 days this week, just because I was anxious about going.
For some stupid ass reason.

Ok, another example of how bad it can get.
I recently went to a concert to see a man that I've been dying to see.
I had an amazing time, but of course before he came out to do his set....I literally felt like I was going to pass out from nerves.
My hands started tingling and I was getting light-headed.

It stresses out my parents and gets them pissed off.
And that only makes it worse for me.

I've been told that I 'drive them crazy'.
They don't understand why I get so...something.
And when I tell them that I don't know either....it just frustrates them more.
They even threatened to take me to some crazy place.
But I'm not crazy.
I just have major anxiety issues, basically.

My mom is always upset/crying.
She stays stressed out because of me.
I hate that...It shouldn't be like that, she shouldn't have to worry 24/7 about me.
I'm almost old enough to be out on my own.
But...my mind was reeling this morning.
If you can guess.

I'm not suicidal, so no need to worry.
I'm even too much of a coward to take my own life.
And, my life isn't no where near bad enough to even consider something like that.
But I'll admit...thoughts were running through my head.

After our little dispute about me not going to school, this morning -- me and my mom -- she called me and actually asked to make sure I wasn't having any 'crazy' thoughs.She knows me too well. lol

Ok, I've said enough for today.


Comment...if you want.